Sometimes I sit down and wonder how I got here. I feel like I have long term amnesia. How could I forget the steps and not see the woodworking?
My heart forgets the wonder and mystery and always finds reasons to grumble. It seems easy to laugh at the Israelites who time and time again sinned against their King so soon after He rescued them from utter disaster. But I'm coming to see my story has more resemblances than could be coincidental.
"My sheep know My voice." A sheep who forgets where it's going halfway there, follows the crowd and so desperately needs someone to protect it from every danger around - cliffs, wolves and robbers. A sheep who is stinky, usually dirty and not that terribly desirable.
I forget where I've come from and stare at the mountains in front instead of taking time to look at the mountains behind. If I remembered where I've been, my heart would grow far less troubled at where I am. Though we don't know the way ahead, though trouble seeps at our feet in different forms, we do know who we are and who our Shepherd is. And though I don't understand Him very much, I do feel His heart and know His voice. And I know He has never let a hurt or trouble come needlessly into life before. Maybe I should trust He wouldn't now.
God, keep my heart from following after the pretty things I see. Keep my heart from fretting over the things that shouldn't have the power to crush. Keep me from the things that keep me from Your face.
Sunday 22 December 2013
Friday 20 December 2013
Sunday 21 April 2013
Tricycle on the Highway
Tonight, my plans got messed up. I drove home late hoping to make it in time to get a fitful rest and wake up ready for church and a plethora of activities the next day.
As I speedily headed along my little way, I was brought to a sudden halt. The highway was shut down and emergency vehicle lights littered the clear starry night. After the initial, "What is going on over there?" thoughts, my ongoing mindset was, "Man, I hope I won't be stuck here for long. I'm all by myself ... and it's dark ... and I don't want to spend the night in a hotel. I'm tired - will I be able to stay awake long enough to make it home after getting through this?"
I prayed and asked Jesus to get me past myself and know that these emergency vehicles were on the highway because someone's life had been altered. But it was a long wait and my thoughts would drift back and forth between exhaustion and frustration.
When the highway was cleared, I quickly woke myself back up to prepare for a tiresome journey home. But what I saw shattered my plans.
A tricycle on the highway. Between two demolished cars, tires and glass lay a small tricycle on its side. I think the image may be permanently etched inside me. I feel sick even thinking about it.
Someone, a person much like me, has had their life dramatically altered. What may have started as a family trip has ended in pain and most likely death. There is such finality to it. No parent to soothe their child's fears at night, no child to squeal with delight when their favourite person walks in the room ... within minutes all their plans and ideals were stolen.
"All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. " (Isa. 40:6-7)
God, don't let me keep playing this stupid game. There is life and there is death and when the end comes there is no second try or redos - that's it. Jesus, let my life be lived out in light of this - not scurrying around doing good activities and thoughtful things, but fully living the way You did - showing people what hope is while there is still a choice. Keep me from being the person who looked in the mirror saw what needed to be done, walked away and forgot - Jesus, don't let me just be words.
As I speedily headed along my little way, I was brought to a sudden halt. The highway was shut down and emergency vehicle lights littered the clear starry night. After the initial, "What is going on over there?" thoughts, my ongoing mindset was, "Man, I hope I won't be stuck here for long. I'm all by myself ... and it's dark ... and I don't want to spend the night in a hotel. I'm tired - will I be able to stay awake long enough to make it home after getting through this?"
I prayed and asked Jesus to get me past myself and know that these emergency vehicles were on the highway because someone's life had been altered. But it was a long wait and my thoughts would drift back and forth between exhaustion and frustration.
When the highway was cleared, I quickly woke myself back up to prepare for a tiresome journey home. But what I saw shattered my plans.
A tricycle on the highway. Between two demolished cars, tires and glass lay a small tricycle on its side. I think the image may be permanently etched inside me. I feel sick even thinking about it.
Someone, a person much like me, has had their life dramatically altered. What may have started as a family trip has ended in pain and most likely death. There is such finality to it. No parent to soothe their child's fears at night, no child to squeal with delight when their favourite person walks in the room ... within minutes all their plans and ideals were stolen.
"All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. " (Isa. 40:6-7)
God, don't let me keep playing this stupid game. There is life and there is death and when the end comes there is no second try or redos - that's it. Jesus, let my life be lived out in light of this - not scurrying around doing good activities and thoughtful things, but fully living the way You did - showing people what hope is while there is still a choice. Keep me from being the person who looked in the mirror saw what needed to be done, walked away and forgot - Jesus, don't let me just be words.
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