Amnesia

Sometimes I sit down and wonder how I got here. I feel like I have long term amnesia. How could I forget the steps and not see the woodworking?

My heart forgets the wonder and mystery and always finds reasons to grumble. It seems easy to laugh at the Israelites who time and time again sinned against their King so soon after He rescued them from utter disaster. But I'm coming to see my story has more resemblances than could be coincidental.

"My sheep know My voice." A sheep who forgets where it's going halfway there, follows the crowd and so desperately needs someone to protect it from every danger around - cliffs, wolves and robbers. A sheep who is stinky, usually dirty and not that terribly desirable.

 I forget where I've come from and stare at the mountains in front instead of taking time to look at the mountains behind. If I remembered where I've been, my heart would grow far less troubled at where I am. Though we don't know the way ahead, though trouble seeps at our feet in different forms, we do know who we are and who our Shepherd is. And though I don't understand Him very much, I do feel His heart and know His voice. And I know He has never let a hurt or trouble come needlessly into life before. Maybe I should trust He wouldn't now.

God, keep my heart from following after the pretty things I see. Keep my heart from fretting over the things that shouldn't have the power to crush. Keep me from the things that keep me from Your face.