Dear Friend,
This morning, hoping to boost my ego, I hopped on the computer to check my e-mail. Seeing a lack of mail, I continued browsing through the web looking at the news. And in that search, I stumbled on what has happened in Norway.
If you are as ignorant as me, this may come as a surprise, but yesterday one man bombed a building full of people (killing only 7 right now) and then proceeded to go to a youth camp where he shot 87 young people. The part that rips into me the most is that this demon-possessed man pretended to be a police officer luring youth out of hiding; after luring them out, he shot at point blank range. He would shoot anyone trying to run or swim away (they were locked away on an island where the camp was being held)-all they could do was stay still and hope not to be seen.
I'm at a loss. I don't know what to say, what to do. How do you reach out to people across the world, how do you pray for people whose lives have changed forever? How do you fall into God's heart for this?
Everything reeks of depravity. This is not what He wanted. When He formed the mountains and breathed humans into existence, He longed for fellowship and love to work itself out in action - not this.
I heard a person once say, "This world sucks. I am going to do everything I can to get Jesus to come back as fast as He can and that means telling as many people as I can about Him." I agreed in theory, but my heart didn't respond with his words. On days like today, my eyes seem to open to reality and all I want is for Jesus to come back purging and making us whole again.
I have tried to, but cannot even imagine what these people went through. I struggled this morning knowing what to do. Every action I could think of doing seemed too small, too little in the light of what has happened. They don't need my money and a simple prayer seems much too weak.
I talked to El about it for awhile, or rather let Him hear my heart groanings...I don't think I said very much intelligible thought. And He reminded me of something KP Yohannan said (this isn't exact as it is from memory) "When I see horrors happen around the world, all I can do is fast and pray. And when my children come and ask me why I look so sad and why I'm not eating, I can tell them this is how Jesus feels about the situation. His heart is broken over this and mine is also."
So I think that's what I'm going to do today. I don' want to appear as someone who is super spiritual because if anyone knows this isn't true it's me and El. But I don't think it would be fitting for me to do anything else, but fast today.
I hope our hearts are further moulded into His design today.
"My eyes fail from weeping,
I am in torment within,
my heart is poured out on the ground
because my people are destroyed,
because children and infants faint
in the streets of the city.
What can I say for you?
With what can I compare you...
To what can I liken you,
that I may comfort you?
Your wound is as deep as the sea,
Who can heal you?
Let your tears flow like a river day and night;
give yourself no relief,
your eyes no rest.
Arise, cry out in the night,
as the watches of the night begin;
pour out your heart like water
In the presence of the Lord,
lift up your hands to Him
for the lives of your children.
….
Because of the Lords’ great love we are not consumed,
For his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is your faithfulness.
[We] say to [ourselves], “The Lord is [our] portion;
Therefore [we] will wait for Him.
It is good to wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
Let him sit alone in silence
For the Lord has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust-
There may yet be hope.”
