This afternoon I have been concocting a list of the things I learned and grew through in the past 9 months at school. And one piece stuck out that I wanted to share with you ... dear person that you are (actually to be honest, I could be the only person reading this, haha- oh well :p)
So what stuck out to me? What piece of life have I learned that I think could influence you?
Jesus fights for me.
Throughout this past year, I have gone to extremes. I have always been ridiculously hard on myself, but in these past months, I went to a whole new level. Never in my life have I been as frustrated, hopeless and rashly harsh on my own self. Everything I did, everything I was was strained through a filter of utterly unmeetable standards.
Day after day, I would stack books (at my sweet out library job) and find more and more things to nit pick away at myself. I was too ... everything. Day after day, I would stick books in their place and cry over how much I failed to measure up to my own standards.
Amidst these tears, someone came forward for me. When all I could see was lies about how little I measured up, Someone stepped ahead of me and pushed back lies with truth after truth of how loved I was. When I felt defeated, He stepped against my oncoming army and fought for me. Day after restless day, He consistently fought my demons and pushed back the darkness that threatened to seep over my soul. Even thinking back to these times leaves my heart still.
Why someone would be so faithful when I was being so difficult I'm not sure I can really explain. But one thing I do know. Amidst these struggles, my sole question became, "Am I worth it?"
And the sole answer I shattered underneath was, "You are, have been and will ALWAYS be worth my time, my effort and life." (Jesus)
I have never met anyone like Him; loving Him changes me.
