November Entry

El,

I'm reeling; I'm not okay. I feel deceived, hurt and used . again .

I need to see past myself, but right now I feel so overwhelmed, so confused, so ... Jesus, I can't keep looking at the me, can I?

The thought that comes to mind is when A____ found her husband shot dead for following you. You told her, "A_____, see this through my eyes. This is precious in my sight." She CHOSE  to look at this through Your eyes.

Jesus, I'm so hurt, but all I want to do is curl up in Your arms. Only You fill my soul. Rapha. Oh El, I wasn't expecting life to be this hard, but I know You. I know You are good to me always, I know You are faithful when no one else is. I know You are constant when everyone else leaves. I know You know me and I have seen so evidently that You want my best more than anyone else. I am choosing You.

You stay the same through the ages. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Oh Jesus, I so wasn't wanting You to sing this over me again this year.

"This wind is strong and this water is deep, but I'm not alone here in these open seas because Your love never fails. The chasm is far too wide, I don't think I'll reach the other side, but Your love never fails. You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid because I know that You love me." (Your Love Never Fails-Jesus Culture)

- YOU MAKE ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR MY GOOD -