Mover

So here I sit in this small, now delightfully cozy bedroom pondering my life and finally gaining the stamina to walk forward in this somewhat unwanted chapter.

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, 

because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."

Maybe, you need some background info. I moved this week-we trekked through several districts, plopped my stuff down and said goodbye to each other. I didn't realize moving could be so tumultuous, not only did the vehicle have minor issues, it also broke down completely and 
we got to wait overnight because the highway was closed. If anything, it was not the ideal picture I had in mind of stepping into another chapter of life. But strangely enough, it was an adventure I accepted with surprising dignity (completely un-ashlee-like for the most part). 

And now that the rubber has hit the road, I'm alone in this foreign place, taking classes and trying to figure out my purpose in being here. To be honest, these days (at least large portions of them) get to go in my 'most awful' album. All I want to do is go home; I can't see a way out and my heart hasn't had that soul-connecting moment that makes me want to stay.

I thought I knew God's call; actually I know I heard God's call-the nasty drive down confirmed it; this is where He wants me and someone else does not. 

Just this past hour when I read the above verse, my vision has started changing. I have been moping, heart-sick and depressed-a shadow of who I usually am. But...what a good word...I can see a purpose being lined out right in front of me. 

Even after a few days, I can easily see  people here that are openly broken-running from pasts that haunt or overwhelm them. And there I come into the midst, Christ's only disciple.
There I sit holding the pitcher of water they long for. There I am connected to the life they need to come alive.

If ever I had a purpose, it is now. If ever I had a clear vision placed in front of me, it is today-no wonder these days have been so wretched.

There is nothing special about me; I am not an incredible disciple. But this God, this being who stays truer than even my closest friend, is placing in front of me an opportunity to be His representative, His delegate, His Signet Ring, to these specific people. I think every Christian is called into this, but I know we get sidetracked building into one another instead of looking out our doors. Oh that we would live up to what we have been called to.